Guide to Men That all women should know
1. Men are very easy to figure out, and no, we are not complex unlike women. The first thing every woman needs to know that a man's brain is only comprised of four simple components:
Component number one applies to almost all men, unless they're gay, a religious fanatic, mentally ill, or any combination of the above. However, since the majority of men prefer women and seem to think about them constantly, just stick to these four main points to a man's brain and thought process and you will never again question how feeble our minds really are.
2. Mauve is not a color, neither is half the other ones that I've heard women spit out. Just keep the colors simple, like red, green, blue, orange, yellow. It'll make everyone's life easier. Trust me.
3. Never ask a man if you're fat. Unless he's a true asshole, he's always going to tell you NO! You know and we know if you're really fat.
4. Men don't remember anniversaries. Hell, we have a hard enough time remembering half the other petty stuff, let alone the important stuff. Mark these events down on a calendar and remind us all the time.
5. Men love sports. Just deal with this simple little fact and you're life will be much easier. Any and all questions should be reserved for the commercial breaks.
6. Men don't own tons of pairs of shoes. You're the experts on this topic. Our opinions on shoes are completely worthless.
7. Men don't read minds. Men have a hard enough time reading half the stuff on paper and on a computer, c'mon do you really expect us to master this category?
8. If you don't want a guy to call you, then don't give him your number at the bar or the club. And if you do give him those digits, the call comes no less than 48 hours. If it's before 48 hours, your warning light should go off promptly.
9. We love money as much as you do, which is why we prefer if you don't spend every last dime we make. It's OK to shop, just not until we're bankrupt.
10. Women, not dogs, are a man's best friend. Don't let it get to your heads, though. We can't live without you, and sometimes we can't live with you. But in the end, we need you as much as you need us. Remembering these ten concepts will help you sleep better at night and function better during the day.